Garden Enemy Number One

Cute though he may be, this six-inch three-ounce menace is not at all welcome in my garden. He delights in tunneling planting beds, helping himself to the blueberries, tomatoes and other of the few edibles I try to grow, and hurling plants out of pots. My venus fly trap was just getting ready to bloom and I was looking forward to seeing that. Not so for this horrible rodent. After digging the plant up out of it's pot twice he decided to chew the flower spike into three pieces and then just throw the whole thing on the deck.

I've been fighting the hopeless battle against these adorable rats for some time by humanely trapping them and taking them for "a field trip." I just don't tell them they're not coming back. Last year, in one weekend I relocated fifteen of the little bastards.

A few weeks ago I was around home and had some time so I started setting up the trap and making trips as needed to the drop area. On my second run there was a pedestrian at the preferred spot so I just drove on with plans to find another relocation node. As I rounded a corner I heard the trap roll over in the trunk and was immediately concerned that my little passenger might have gotten hurt.

Then I was concerned that my little passenger might have gotten out of the trap!

A glance in the rear-view mirror confirmed that that was the case. Not only had he been freed from his cell, he had gotten through the hatch somehow and was running back and forth trying to find a way out the rear window.

I quickly pulled over and ran around the back of the car. Seeing him jump down into the rear passenger seat I opened the door on that side and waited for him to jump out. After a few moments he didn't show so I assumed he had seen me and run the other way out the open driver's side door. I got back in the car and headed for home.

Almost immediately I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye. There he was, sitting in the passenger seat looking at me with that "I'm going to kill you!" look that chipmunks are known for. I may have yelped. I don't really know. In any case he leapt onto the dashboard and resumed the frantic back-and-forth scurrying that he'd been perfecting in the rear window. Once more I pulled over and somehow got the passenger door open. Not satisfied to just jump out and flee he instead inched along the edge of the window and then finally made a dramatic leap for freedom.

Fortunately there were no witnesses to the final scene. No, I take that back. I would have liked someone see him hop out the door. It would have been fun to shout "Have fun and I'll be back to pick you up at two!" as he scampered away.